Microsoft Reveals Amazing Holographic Headset “HoloLens”

This is some future tech we have right here. Microsoft has announced their new product, "HoloLens", which is this headset with a screen and full GPU and CPU that uses augmented reality to create holograms you can react with. I'm not Bill Nye, so I'll let the reveal video show you how awesome this thing is. It's still in development, but I have already started a list of all the things I'm going to do with this thing. First, I am going to projects a shit ton of hologram friends on my couch so I don't have to keep playing sega genesis with my cat. Next I will go on many virtual dates with holographic ladies. Some will reject me, the rest will cheat on me with my holographic friends. I become bitter. I create a holographic bar in my living room. ...

CBS TV Series Finds its SUPERGIRL

Marvel and DC have been at war since before you and I were ever born, whether it's movies or television, the competition is getting heated. Marvel put its cards on the table with "Agents of Shield", and DC is banking on the popularity of  "ARROW" and "The Flash" by re-introducing us to Superman's cousin, Supergirl. CBS has chosen "Whiplash" actress Melissa Benoist to play the iconic female superhero Kara Zor-El, or "Supergirl" to the asshole or layman. I am extremely excited for this show, and not just because I am a die-hard advocate for equal rights between men and women, but because I am a geek, and geeks like boobies. I know what you're going to say, "Geeks love boobies, because they're all weird virgins who bang Japanese anime sex pillows". My response to that is...Wow mom, that was mean and ...

The Trailer for the Video Game Adaption DEAD RISING: WATCHTOWER is Here!

I love zombies. You love zombies. We all love zombies. There are great zombie movies and really bad ones, but this one actually looks good. Check it out below!   I have played out a zombie epidemic scenario in my head about a million times. Will I survive? Do I have what it takes to make it in the zombie apocalypse? Is a platypus just a duck with a fancy fur coat? All these important questions bounce around my brain, but no matter what, at the end of the scenario, I always end up barricaded in a mansion with Kate Upton and Betty White. I know what you're thinking, "Shouldn't you just send Kate out for supplies so you and Betty can get ya freak on?" Well, someone has to hold the camera while me and Betty play our favorite game "Banana and Raisins". Bow ...

New CALL OF DUTY ADVANCED WARFARE: EXO ZOMBIES Trailer is a Star-Studded Goregasm

The Call of Duty franchise has given all of us countless hours of profanity riddled fun and made us feel like soldiers, not fat thirty-somethings who live in their parents basement. To keep us geeks foaming at the mouth, the folks at "Call of Duty" introduced zombies to the war game. In the newest installment of the franchise, we have John Malkovich, Bill Paxton, Rose McGowan, and Jon Bernthal kicking zombie ass in "Exo Zombies". I don't know about you guys, but CGI has made Rose McGowan hot again. It's pretty exciting to have  a game with Kevin Spacey AND John Malkovich, there's so many thoughts flying around my head right now. SPACEY AND MALKOVICH! MCGOWAN IS HOT AGAIN! I need  a minute to be alone with my lotion thoughts.

New Hybrid Dinosaur “D-REX” From JURASSIC WORLD Revealed!

Some new art (which looks like it is on plates and cups for a children's party) has just been revealed from the upcoming "Jurassic Park" sequel, "Jurassic World". One of the main plot points in the new film is the parks introduction of a genetically manipulated, hybrid dinosaur, the "D-Rex". This dinosaur is created to bring new crowds to the now functioning, but declining in attendance, park. Then we follow the basic JP formula of dinosaurs escaping and eating people. I have to say this "D-Rex" looks pretty bad ass and I'm excited to see it in action, and by in action I mean getting into hilarious hijinks, and by hilarious hijinks I mean mercilessly eating people. Don't tell me I need therapy! YOU NEED THERAPY, MOM!   It's funny, there was a kid I knew in junior high school we called D-Rex. ...

Spider-Man to Join Marvel Cinematic Universe in AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR PART1?!

The folks over at Latino Review supposedly have sources that confirm that Sony and Marvel Studios have inked a deal where Spider-man will join the avengers in "Avengers:Infinity War Part 1". The role will be recast and spidey will join just in time for "Captain America: Civil War". Latino Review usually have been pretty reliable in the past so we should all, at least, take this with a slightly larger grain of salt and hope to Thor that it is true. Check out the article at Latino Review for some potentially big spoilers, but then again it could all be nonsense. Either way I am excited and have taken my pants off so I can do a celebratory dance on my lawn. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT ROGER?! IT'S LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN A HALF NAKED GUY, WEARING ...

New MORTAL KOMBAT X Trailer Showcases Some Pretty Awesome Gore

Mortal Kombat is one of the enduring fighting game franchises and with each new iteration comes new ways to mutilate your opponent. Due to some bad parenting, I have been playing Mortal Kombat since I was 9 and I am pretty sure I've had a go with every single game that has been released. This is the first time I am genuinely excited since the release of Mortal Kombat 3 on the Playstation.  The nipple situation is at diamond-like hardness...Seriously, it looks like I fell forward onto 2 chopsticks. Should I be worried I am too excited? If I was a Pirates of the Caribbean director my name would be Gore VerBONERski. ::crickets:: Tough crowd.

The New ANT-MAN Poster and Trailer are Finally Here!

     Marvel continues its merciless plucking of our heart strings with a trailer for their new movie "Ant-Man". Though he may not be as widely known, Ant-Man is a very popular property for Marvel and it looks like Paul Rudd will play the part pretty well. I always thought Rudd was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the shit in this one. I feel particularly attached to this movie on an emotional level, because girls in school called me Ant-Man due to my affinity with the tiny insects. They would always come into the locker room and laugh and point and say hey look it's the Ant-Man! It was odd, because most of the time I didn't have my pet ants with me. Oh, that wasn't why they called me that?  Ohhhhhhhhhh....I have a lot of crying to catch up ...